Tim Calhoun for Senate

If you missed Saturday night’s SNL (I’m obsessing, but it’s nice to see them back in good form), I did manage to find a copy of Weekend Update over here at FallonFey.com. (No direct links, but just click on the “John McCain” link in the top left corner.)

In the spirit of fair play, Weekend Update gave equal time to another politician (since John McCain was hosting). The resulting two minute campaign speech by Tim Calhoun is fall-out-of-your-chair funny. (“Calhoun” – actually cast- member Will Forte – starts his speech at about 3:45 of the video.)


  • “I love whales, but they have to go.”

  • “America needs another big lake.”

  • “I’m sorry about the cocaine. But sometimes I like to stay up reallllllly late, and cocaine will help you do that.”

Now if I can just find the Hardball bit – with Harry Belafonte spouting racial epithets (“The poodle is the black man of the dog world!”) and John McCain as Ashcroft (“The Arabic language – and anything that sounds like it – will be illegal.”) I’ll be happy.